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I see my plan of enticing you for some grub and drinks worked. I laced that stout with some mind altering $hit that worked! 3rd we are not, but, we have some things up our sleaves that may get us near-ish there by the end of the season. I am glad to see my defensive moves last season are finally paying off.

Either way, the food is good and the drinks are always strong here at The Keg. All owners and senior management are welcome to come party with us anytime. Bring your game face, or it will plant itself in a table quickly at which point sharpie face art becomes a social media trending story when you are carried out of here. Just warning ya'll.

"2-0 to start the season," says the owner to new team president Bobby Sparks. "I would have never guessed it. I figured we'd start off like the Lakers did this season."

"We are trying sir. We do have a problem. Our age. It will be a factor. We currently don't have the funds yet to get new players, but with a change or two, maybe that could be remedied. We would have to sacrifice some games possibly for that outcome," says Bobby Sparks.

"We had a nice test with the two teams we played. We have an even bigger one tomorrow. The Ashkickers are a thorn in our side. We have never had the team to beat them. When we did, we didn't play them. And this team, it is built to be competitive, but not to win," says John Walton, coach of The Hustlas. "But we will see. All eyes will be on this game. Do we keep games close and pull out in the end or are we just pretenders? We have started with the toughest schedule this season. Hopefully we can make it 3-0."

"If we don't, we will still learn a lot about this next game," says Bobby Sparks. "Use our bigs to our advantage. Maybe that'll give us the edge in this one."

"Yes, I thought of that. It could work. It did against Miami," says John.

"The scorers haven't went off yet and scored. Ozakan, Nick Williams, and Soykan. They need to score the ball. That's why we got them," says Bobby Sparks. "And Jaanson is disappointing. We will be parting with him if he has a bad week or can't crack the lineup."

"Bobby, 100k bonus if you win this next game, not using crunch time to do so," says the owner.

"We will try," says Bobby Sparks. "We will try."

100k bonus to win a game? Sign me up for Hustlas team president!

Lol, Daisy for Team GM.

Coach: “Guys, nice effort out there. I’m glad to see some improvement, but we’re not where we want to be.
We’ve got a long way to go. Paulie, great first half. You looked winded the second half. Shots, way to pick up Paulie in the second half. Kyle, quiet job there; I like it when players are so quietly efficient that you almost miss what they did. Nick, nice job out there. Bobby, we have to work on making things easier for you on offense, nice game. Joe, keep grinding; you’re close. B, nice work out there but you gotta be more salty out there. Kev, nice work. G, nice work, but you also need some aggression out there. Teti, solid job, but we gotta help you defensively. You’re better than that. Gale and Gross, nice to see you made it to the floor.”

Coach Reina: “Here’s what I didn’t like at all: 10 turnovers. That’s too many. Under 40% from deep. Nick and B, you guys had 2 turnovers. Neither had that many assists. Unacceptable. What do we want to do?”

Datler and Czagala: “Defend, rebound and share the basketball.”

Coach Reina: "I’m sorry; I thought this was a team. What do we want to do?"

Entire team: "DEFEND, REBOUND, AND SHARE THE BASKETBALL!!!"

Coach Reina: "Now let’s go figure out how we can do that better. Good game, guys, but that won’t get it done against
Philly Dribble. We gotta get better."

Entire team: " LET'S WORK!!!"

Day 3 (Saturday 12 November 2022) : Performances by (https://www.buzzer-manager.com)

Night results
209’s MostWanted 120 - Lion Rebels 99
BKDogs 128 - BOBBBSBURGS 60
Carolina Rebels 53 - Linndale 126
Philly Dribble 87 - San Dominica Warriors 74
Hustlas 98 - The Ashkickers 91
Żubr Białystok 74 - The Beer Bellys 99
Sweaty Socks 36 - Miami Cleo 112
The Philadelphia Spartans 87 - Motor City Waddupdoe 69

Best collective performance of the evening
Points : 128 : BKDogs
Rebounds : 68 : San Dominica Warriors
Assists : 27 : Miami Cleo, Linndale, Lion Rebels, BKDogs
Steals : 12 : Miami Cleo
Block Shots : 15 : BKDogs

Personal best performances of the evening
Points : 34 : P. Lutz (Linndale), Č. Grbac (BKDogs)
Rebounds : 24 : M. Bowie (Motor City Waddupdoe)
Assists : 8 : L. Rojas (The Ashkickers), B. Coenen (Linndale)
Steals : 6 : W. Graf (Miami Cleo)
Block Shots : 5 : M. Köhler (BKDogs)

Top 5 of the evening
Point Guard : D. Santana (Miami Cleo) (16 Points, 6 Rebounds, 5 Assists, 1 Steals, 3 Block Shots), P. Matkowski (BKDogs) (20 Points, 5 Rebounds, 4 Assists, 1 Steals, 3 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 24
Shooting Guard : L. Papenmoor (BKDogs) (30 Points, 4 Rebounds, 4 Assists, 3 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 35
Small Forward : P. Lutz (Linndale) (34 Points, 3 Rebounds, 5 Assists, 0 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 34
Power Forward : G. Romão (The Philadelphia Spartans) (25 Points, 11 Rebounds, 1 Assists, 0 Steals, 4 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 32
Center : F. Brasilino (BKDogs) (14 Points, 13 Rebounds, 7 Assists, 1 Steals, 4 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 34

MVP of the evening
L. Papenmoor (BKDogs) (30 Points, 4 Rebounds, 4 Assists, 3 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 35

The bad performance of the evening
T. Dorman (Carolina Rebels) (0 Points, 1 Rebounds, 0 Assists, 0 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : -11

All kinds of statistics
The player who forgot to remove his mittens : T. Dorman (Carolina Rebels) : 5 Turnovers

Player targeted by the referees : W. Westmoreland (Sweaty Socks), T. Dorman (Carolina Rebels), V. Sesamo (The Ashkickers) : 6 Personnal Fouls

The iron-man : E. Quintana (Carolina Rebels), M. Bowie (Motor City Waddupdoe), S. Hollins (Lion Rebels), T. Medina (Lion Rebels), S. Hatch (Żubr Białystok) : 48 Minutes

The shooter : G. Azheli (209’s MostWanted) : 6 Three points

The best performer : T. Armstead (Lion Rebels) : Rating : 17.5

The worst performer : J. Fábila (The Philadelphia Spartans) : Rating : 3.0

Day 4 (Tuesday 15 November 2022) : Performances by (https://www.buzzer-manager.com)
Lots of blow outs last night, but game of the evening was definitely The Ashkickers overcoming a 5-point disadvantage after the first half to out-play Żubr Białystok and avoid a major upset! Good luck in the BBM tonight!

Night results
Lion Rebels 101 - BKDogs 80
BOBBBSBURGS 41 - Carolina Rebels 127
Linndale 71 - Philly Dribble 100
San Dominica Warriors 75 - 209’s MostWanted 93
The Ashkickers 91 - Żubr Białystok 83
The Beer Bellys 103 - Sweaty Socks 71
Miami Cleo 107 - The Philadelphia Spartans 80
Motor City Waddupdoe 44 - Hustlas 110

Best collective performance of the evening
Points : 127 : Carolina Rebels
Rebounds : 71 : Carolina Rebels
Assists : 31 : Carolina Rebels, The Beer Bellys
Steals : 14 : Philly Dribble
Block Shots : 13 : Carolina Rebels

Personal best performances of the evening
Points : 36 : J. Esposito (Hustlas)
Rebounds : 21 : S. Asulin (The Philadelphia Spartans)
Assists : 9 : É. Blanchet (San Dominica Warriors)
Steals : 4 : R. Singh (Lion Rebels), Z. Ruth (BOBBBSBURGS)
Block Shots : 6 : D. Allen (Carolina Rebels)

Top 5 of the evening
Point Guard : T. Begley (Carolina Rebels) (22 Points, 5 Rebounds, 4 Assists, 1 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 26
Shooting Guard : A. Ziółkowski (209’s MostWanted) (35 Points, 3 Rebounds, 5 Assists, 0 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 26
Small Forward : J. Esposito (Hustlas) (36 Points, 5 Rebounds, 0 Assists, 1 Steals, 2 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 34
Power Forward : D. Allen (Carolina Rebels) (14 Points, 18 Rebounds, 8 Assists, 2 Steals, 6 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 37
Center : H. Espinosa (Carolina Rebels) (20 Points, 16 Rebounds, 4 Assists, 2 Steals, 2 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 41

MVP of the evening
H. Espinosa (Carolina Rebels) (20 Points, 16 Rebounds, 4 Assists, 2 Steals, 2 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 41

The bad performance of the evening
F. Sierra (BOBBBSBURGS) (4 Points, 5 Rebounds, 2 Assists, 0 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : -20

All kinds of statistics
The player who forgot to remove his mittens : M. Redman (Motor City Waddupdoe) : 6 Turnovers

Player targeted by the referees : A. Braka (Miami Cleo), W. Westmoreland (Sweaty Socks), I. Gamón (Motor City Waddupdoe), Á. Sütöri (Linndale), K. Knowles (Linndale), N. Guevara (Linndale), L. Baião (San Dominica Warriors), L. McKnight (Lion Rebels), Y. Delagnès (Żubr Białystok), T. Hinterleitner (Żubr Białystok), Y. Semiramis (The Beer Bellys), L. Papenmoor (BKDogs) : 5 Personnal Fouls

The iron-man : G. Locus (Miami Cleo), D. Allen (Carolina Rebels), M. Redman (Motor City Waddupdoe), H. Quindós (Żubr Białystok) : 48 Minutes

The shooter : A. Ziółkowski (209’s MostWanted) : 6 Three points

The best performer : T. Armstead (Lion Rebels), S. Klin (Hustlas) : Rating : 17.0

The worst performer : S. Bryant (BOBBBSBURGS), F. Sierra (BOBBBSBURGS), J. Billingsley (BOBBBSBURGS) : Rating : 3.0

Week Two Power Rankings
Week 2 Observations
One of the reasons I like basing these power rankings on EFF and OPP EFF is because of the variance from the standings and the wild differences you can see in movement from one week to the next based on schedule. For instance, The Beer Bellys have played one truly difficult game where they got beat by 9, but have won the rest of their matchups by 19 or more points against two inferior teams and one should-be-evenly-matched team. As a result, in their wins, they had an EFF of 130, 127, and 143 while holding their opponent’s efficiency to 59, 48, and 57. In their lone loss, they hit 99 EFF and gave up 118 OPP EFF. This, then ends up with them averaging 124.8 EFFG and 70.5 OPP EFFG, good for 2nd and 3rd rank respectively in the league. But they sit at 4th in the Great 8 with their 3-1 record and 67-point differential. Do they deserve their spot in the power rankings (spoiler alert, it's high!)? Probably not. Does it get me free beer and liquor whenever I visit thatguy's place? It does indeed. I never said I wasn't above bribery! In all seriousness though, it makes the season a bit more interesting to have these power rankings differ a bit from what we see in the standings. For those of you who are new, we'll see them pretty much solidify and not see much movement about a week or two after the all-star break.

Still not a lot of movement on the transfer list with just three transactions this week. First up, Motor City brought in 22-year-old Australian 6'2" Center(!) Paul Cater for $400k and he should be an immediate starter and immense upgrade for them. On the same side of the division, the aforementioned Beer Bellys sold off 21-year-old American PG Walker Huffman who was a home-grown draftee from thatguy, netting them $350k. Huffman has been relegated to the 4th division in Utopia, the unfortunate bastard. In a corresponding move, thatguy brought on season 58 3rd pick from league III.3 Kent Herbert, who projects as a PF and he played in his first game of season 59 as a backup PF for the Bellys, grabbing 5 boards to go along with 10 points in their demolition of Sweaty Socks.

After four games, five teams are averaging 100 or more points per game while four teams are averaging less than 70 points and that's a pretty good definer for the chasm between current potential playoff contenders and those that fall below the line with both conferences hosting an undefeated team, a defeated team, three teams at 3-1 and three teams at 1-3. With that, here is this week's Power Rankings! (Last week's ranking will be in parenthesis behind the team’s name)

Week 2 Power Rankings
1. Philly Dribble (1)
Holding steady in the number one spot, Philly Dribble is holding their opponents to less than 70 PPG with a commanding 31.2-point differential. They took care of business this last week, handing San Dominica and Linndale losses leaving (probably) 209 as the only team with a chance to knock them out of 1st in the division over the course of the season. They play host to BKDogs on Saturday before we get to see how 209 will fare against this fearsome squad.

2. The Beer Bellys (3)
As I mentioned, Beer finds themselves this high because of their weak schedule so far. Even though The Ashkickers are ahead of them in the standings (and once again [rightly] annoyed by being moved down this list), thanks to their schedule, Beer Bellys sidle up to the Power Rankings bar with the 2nd and 3rd EFFG & OPP EFFG, landing them in 2nd on this list. Motor City may not be a challenge for them on Saturday, but then they travel to current 2nd seed Miami Cleo for a probable battle for said 2nd spot in the Great 8.

3. The Ashkickers (2)
Are The Ashkickers better than the Beer Bellys? Yes, obviously, but thanks to their schedule and efficiency give/take, they find themselves ranked third after losing to Hustlas last Saturday after getting outscored 14-7 in OT before then getting a win on the road against Żubr Białystok. They haven't seemed as dominant yet this season, but have a chance to prove themselves in a matchup against Miami before then heading to Motor City. I'm confident they'll move up these rankings before long.

4. Hustlas (7)
A decent jump in the rankings this week, Hustlas proves yet again that they're pretty savvy and cunning with their game planning and approach (unlike my own sad sack of a squad), pulling off four victories in four games. Aside from blowing Motor City out of the universe on Tuesday (66-point victory), their other matchups have all been relatively close and not really standout. Their choice to use up some enthusiasm against The Ashkickers is well timed with games against Sweaty Socks and the Spartans this next week, granting them time to regain some of that before then playing host to Żubr Białystok and then facing 209 in their first cross conference matchup of the season in week 4.

5. Linndale (5)
After romping through Carolina last Saturday with a terrifying 73-point victory, Speedtraps meekly traversed to the Dribble Bucket to get soundly drubbed by 29 while watching SF Juljonas Glicas for Philly cruise to 24 points on 5-5 shooting from three. Not unexpected, but quite the swing in results. Next up, they lick their chops as they head to Daylis Stadium to face Lion Rebels before then playing host to BOBBBS to round out their week.

6. 209's MostWanted (4)
Despite winning both games in Week 2 soundly, Alex finds a slight drop in ranking, mostly due to a 21-point jump in OPP EFFG coming off their domination of BOBBBS in Week 1. Solid wins over Lion Rebels and San Dominica seems to cement the 209 as an upper tier team in the Big 8 and this week they'll get the chance to prove their mettle in facing 4th seeded Carolina Rebels before playing host to Philly Dribble in what is probably the Game of the Week. They've got a strong one-two punch in Ariel Ziółkowski & Gjallim Azheli, averaging 20.8 and 18.5 PPG respectively.

7. Miami Cleo (8)
Once again, Miami finds themselves starting the season out strong after suffering their Week 1 loss to Hustlas, first dominating Sweaty Socks (and only allowing 36 points the entire game) before soundly handling The Philadelphia Spartans on the road. But things should get more difficult for them this week as they travel to face The Ashkickers in a TV game this weekend before then playing host to the hot Beer Bellys.

8. Carolina Rebels (9)
Inching up the rankings and trying to hang on to a playoff seed in the Big 8 this week, Carolina has proved feisty and cunning with some great effort wins through four games. Yes, they suffered that humiliation against Linndale this week, but have set themselves up well for seeding in the long term over Lion Rebels and San Dominica with those two Week 1 wins. They proved dominant in blowing out BOBBBSBURGS this week and now turn to face off against the 209 at home on TV before then traveling to BKDogs for what should be a win. I'm betting they're 4-2 heading into Week 4.

9. San Dominica Warriors (6)
After starting the season with a resounding win, thanks to scheduling difficulties, they've now hit a 3-game losing streak losing to Philly Dribble and the 209 this week. Fortunately for them, they travel to BOBBBS SHINA TOWN arena to get things back on track before then playing host to Lion Rebels in what is probably going to be a critical matchup for seeding between the two floundering groups.

10. BKDogs (13)
With only a -6 point differential on the season coupled with their 1-3 record, Wisdom's biggest problem appears to be game shape. They get a nice boost in these rankings this week due to beating BOBBBS by 68 last weekend but were unfortunate to provide my sad sack of a squad their first win of the season. Things don't immediately look to get better, however, as they travel to play Philly this weekend before then playing host to the upstart Carolina Rebels. If they want to strive for that 5th seed, they're going to need to beat Carolina at least once.

11. Lion Rebels (11)
Even though we saw improvement in both EFFG and OPP EFFG, 1-3 only gets you so far, and taking a drubbing against Philly doesn't help before finally getting said win against BKDogs. Do I think we're worse than BK - potentially, if their starting 5 isn't booking 80+ minutes every week, but a wins a win even if that doesn't mean ranking higher in these sham rankings this week. A challenging week lies ahead with a matchup against Linndale before the aforementioned crucial matchup with Coach Stephenson's Warriors.

12. The Philadelphia Spartans (14)
Jumping a couple of spots on the list, Coach Victor's group is sporting a 1-3 record but seems to be the best of the worst teams proving that in their lone victory defeating Motor City fairly handily last weekend before succumbing to Miami at home. Next up they play host to Żubr Białystok and then take their show on the road against Hustlas in a TV game. They have an opportunity to make it 2-4 this week - will Romão and Nicolle make it happen?

13. Żubr Białystok (10)
Sounds like whitestok's real life got in the way of fantasy land the first week, but they've tried to rebound but still lost both games this week, first to The Beer Bellys and then in a valiant effort succumbed to The Ashkickers. They do have two favorable matchups this week as they travel to Philadelphia to take on the Spartans before playing host to the Sweaty Socks. I see good things in their future, potentially even a .500 record!

14. Motor City Waddupdoe (12)
After getting a win against Sweaty Socks in Week 1, Week 2 brought struggles as they dropped a game first to Philadelphia and then got ridden over by Hustlas. Not a very promising week in the works as they travel to The Keg to face The Beer Bellys before then playing host to The Ashkickers. We'll see how much newcomer Paul Cater can help them sort things out, but I think they'll need to make some more moves to avoid a difficult relegation matchup come season's end.

15. Sweaty Socks (15)
As predicted, it's been a rough go for these two bottom-feeder teams. Last week, Sweaty actually had a slight distinction with their OPP EFFG ranking at 13th, but after dropping two games by a cumulative 108 points to Miami and Beer Bellys, that ranking dropped down to 15th with a 137 rating. On the offensive side, they're performing better than BOBBBS, but comparatively to the rest of the league, it's a pretty pathetic 29. While Westmoreland, Grissom, and Bueno aren't terrible, the other 15 players on the roster don't belong as contributors at this level. This week brings a matchup against #1 Hustlas before then traveling to whitestok's Polish Beer factory. It looks like they'll have to wait until December 10th for what might be their first and only win when they face off against BOBBBSBURGS.

16. BOBBBSBURGS (16)
BOBBBS are averaging a paltry 52.5 points per game while giving up far and away the league high of 119 points per game. Losses this week to BKDogs and Carolina leave them still at the bottom of the barrel of the Big 8 and performing decidedly worse than the next worse team in the league. Michael Spain is their only "quality" player, but even he would only fill in as a reserve backup PF for almost any other team in the league but he hasn't logged a single minute this season for the Burgs. Instead, 31-year-old SG Ted Hewitt is their point scorer, averaging 14.7 and is ranked in the top 10 in the league in 3FG made, but also has the distinction of leading the league in personal fouls. Hopefully they can find some money to bring in some quality players to contend a bit at the bottom and not just be a guaranteed win for almost every other team.