BuzzerBeater Forums

Lion Rebels Press Release - For Immediate Release
On behalf of Kurt Brown, the Lion Rebels apologize to Edward Rutledge and Rip City Revival for the blatant outburst by Brown as his frustration with the season boiled over and resulted in the slashing of Rutledge's face with a hidden shiv. The Lion Rebels have handled the situation internally and Kurt Brown has been fined a one week paycheck for his blatant disregard for professionalism and sportsmanship. Part of Brown's rehab over the coming offseason will include therapy sessions.

hah - this is great.

Hustlas wave TV, here bringing you all the sporting news from around the league and how it affects your Hustlas.

"Hello everyone, I am Cash Danger. And here is your sporting news. The final match of the regular season is today. And the Great 8 still has a lot going on. Currently, the 3rd through 6th seeds all have a shot at the final two playoff spots. The 3rd seeded Beer Bellys. If they defeat the number two seeded Zubr, they are in. They would be 12-10. And they would hold on to the third seed. If they lose, they will fall to 11-11 and they would have to see what happens in other games.

Starting with the 4th seeded Hustlas. They have not won a game since the all-star break, and they have a low division 4 team currently, as the players are too old and some are not very good, but if they defeat Tachenko, who is on their own massive losing streak, they are in. They would be 12-10 and, given one of the playoff spots. If Beer Bellys and Hustlas both win, Bellys would be 3rd seed, Hustlas 4th seed. But if only the Hustlas won, they would be 3rd seed, and Beer Bellys would have to wait for the Miami Cleo game.

5th seed Miami Cleo faced number one Ashkickers today. If Miami Cleo wins and Beer Bellys, they will be given 4th seed and Beer Bellys 3rd seed. If Miami wins and Beer Bellys lose, then Miami will get third seed with a higher point differential than the remaining six teams, and Beer Bellys would be given 4th seed. Both teams would be 11-11.

If both teams win and Hustlas win, or if Beer loses, Miami wins, and Hustlas win, all would be 11-11, but Hustlas would be left on the outside looking in, due to forfeits from earlier in the season, and point differential.

If Tachenko wins, Beer Bellys lose, and Miami Cleo wins, these three plus Hustlas would all finish 11-11. Then the seedings would be Miami Cleo 3rd seed, Tachenko 4th seed, Beer Bellys fall to 5th and Hustlas 6th.

The most likely scenario with the games today, what we believe, is that Tachenko will easily handle the bad team Hustlas, Miami Cleo will lose to Ashkickers, and Beer Bellys will lose to Zubr. This will leave Miami Cleo looking on the outside and finishing 6th with a 10-12 record. Tachenko will be in 3rd with an 11-11 record and Beer Bellys 4th, also 11-11. This will leave out our Hustlas who will as well be 11-11. That is the predictions of the day. And due to how bad this Hustlas team is, we don't see them getting through relegation. But we do need to play the games. We shall see what will become of everyone. So long, and hopefully this will not be the last Hustlas report."

Last edited by Reece at 10/15/2022 2:30:06 PM

[Beer Belly's thinking to himself watching Hustlas wave TV report]

"This damn hangover headache needs to stop so I can enjoy tonight's game...and catch my second wind for some more drinks tonight."

"Damn, Reece summed up this Great 8 $hit show perfectly. I hope he doesn't relegate, I like him"

"Were did I put that bottle of Tylenol...wait...did Reece just say we were going to lose tonight...what the F#*k!...I need to play that back!"

"We've won 5 straight with only 1 loss since the all-star break...I know our mid-season reorg was a mess for a while but damn..."

"Guess we'll show them tonight. The addition of Youngjiang's defense and scoring beefed up the back court just before the break, our SF spot now has strong defense along with the training of our young guards."

"That's it...where's my edibles, cause if he's high already I'm joining the party!"

[Chews on some yummy edibles while pouring some bourbon to wash down the Tylenol]

Lol, this is awesome

"We are here at halftime of the three games that everyone has their eyes on. Hustlas are up on Tachenko by 2, Miami Cleo is up on Ashkickers, and Beer Bellys are up on Zubr. If things hold, just like this, Beer Bellys would win the third seed, Hustlas 4th seed and Miami Cleo would finish fifth. It's been an exciting first half of action, surprising in many ways. All the teams that were predicted to lose are winning. Let's see if it holds. Second half is underway.....now." Courtesy of Gatorade.

"Hello everyone, I am Bryce Kennard, here with Cash Danger and this is Hustlas Wave TV. The three games games have finished, and, all the teams we said that would lose, won. The Beer Bellys defeated Zubr. Miami Cleo defeated Ashkickers, and our Hustlas defeated Tachenko. And boy what games they were. Miami Cleo was the one that did not have to worry about if they would win the game in the last 30 seconds. They were up enough. But it was a good game, and Miami really showed their mettle in the game.

The second game was Hustlas vs Tachenko. If the Hustlas win, they are in the playoffs, if Tachenko win, they will have the 4th seed and Miami would be in the 3rd seed due to their win, and everyone would be waiting for the Beer Bellys vs Zubr game. Cash?"
"You are right, this was a great game. Runner up for game of the night. So, this was a great game. The Hustlas came out playing really well. But it all came down to the fourth quarter. There were seven ties after 7 minutes were left in the game. In the end, at 93 all, Tachenko had the ball, planning their final shot. With 8 seconds left, Denkovic stole the ball. S. Bailin for the ball with 4 seconds left and scored, giving the Hustlas a two point lead. Tachenko missed a last second close one and the Hustlas won their playoff spot.

And, the game of the night, Beer Bellys vs Zubr. The Bellys win, Miami is knocked out of the playoffs and Beer Bellys take the third seed. If they lose, they are out, and Hustlas would be the third seed and Miami the 4th seed."

Bryce Kennard takes over, "The ties and lead changes started around the 10 minute mark in the 4th quarter. There were 4 ties I believe, but many lead changes. In the end, it came down to the Bellys aggressiveness. They refused to give Zubr the ball back. The coach and players executed to perfection. With 22 seconds left, Beer Bellys got the ball. Hardin drove with 8 seconds left and was fouled. If he makes two, it's tied. But they needed the win. It was a win or go home situation for them with Miami and Hustlas both winning earlier. So Hardin made the first and missed the second free throw...."

"It's Harbin, Bryce. Not Hardin. But yes, Harbin made the first of two, then missed the second, but he got the rebound. Segovia threw up a three, missed, one second left. Homs boxed out his man, grabbed the offensive rebound, got the ball to Harbin, who banked in a two as time expired, giving the Bellys the win, and the third seed in the playoffs, and Hustlas the 4th seed. It was an incredible game. Today was very eventful," said Cash.

"Another great game today was Linndale vs Lion Rebels," says Bryce. "Linndale was up by as much as 11, but Lion Rebels fought back. The game went into OT where Linndale was just too much for the exhausted Lion Rebels."

"That is your sports report here on Hustlas Wave TV. I'm Cash Danger with Bryce Kennard, goodnight everyone."

Last edited by Reece at 10/16/2022 3:51:28 AM

Pio Reina: Coach, you wanted to see me?

Coach: Yeah. You and the team. It's time for the meeting.

Pio: Well we're all here.

Coach: It's assessment time, and postseason roster time. Daniel Gale you're not on the roster. Not nearly good enough. I wanted you to hear it from me. We'll talk more at the exit interviews. If we have to play you in the postseason, we've already lost. The good news is you have talent and a future, but you're gonna have to work to realize it. That's it for the roster talk.

Pio: Rotations get tighter in postseason. You guys need to know your role for the postseason.Usual caveats apply. Be ready for anything.

Coach: Brown, Datler, and Jung, you guys are reserves. Jung, Datler, I expect one if not both of you inthe rotation next season. Understood?

Jung and Datler: (in unison) Understood.

Coach: Brown, you know what you have to do, and you know nothing is promised.

Brown: Coach, watch me work.

Coach: I will.

Pio: The rest of you are the rotation. We're going 9 deep. Brown, you're first in the rotation if we need a reserve.

Coach: We go defense first. Bobbie, we have a plan for the game. I want the PGs to come in for the coaches meeting. Lutz, you too.

Pio: One more thing. That meeting is going to be in Cleveland, with J. B. Bickerstaff and the Cleveland Cavaliers. We'll see if we can pick up something from them. Now go home and get your cold weather clothes; we're taking a team trip to the Big Apple.

Coach: We're guests of the Cleveland Guardians. My good friend Tito said he could use the support, and this team is young enough that I thought experiencing some playoff atmosphere would not hurt. Any Yankee fans in here?

Lutz: I heard there were a couple but I ain't one!

Pio: Well it's gonna suck to be them, because the Guardians have got this.

Coach: Go get ready, let's have some fun and then get to work! And Lutz?

Lutz: Yeah Coach?

Coach: You're not a good liar. Your Yankee is hat was sticking out your locker...

Day 22 (Saturday 15 October 2022) : Performances by (https://www.buzzer-manager.com)

Night results
Linndale 131 - Lion Rebels 128
Rip City Revival 129 - The Lone Wolf 86
Mighty Moose Rockets 48 - Carolina Rebels 120
San Dominica Warriors 69 - Philly Dribble 85
2 percent 113 - Is This Heaven? 36
The Beer Bellys 90 - Żubr Białystok 89
Tachenko 93 - Hustlas 95
The Ashkickers 99 - Miami Cleo 103

Best collective performance of the evening
Points : 131 : Linndale
Rebounds : 69 : Miami Cleo
Assists : 36 : Carolina Rebels
Steals : 19 : Linndale
Block Shots : 10 : Miami Cleo

Personal best performances of the evening
Points : 45 : T. Plummer (Carolina Rebels)
Rebounds : 23 : T. Armstead (Lion Rebels)
Assists : 10 : T. Begley (Carolina Rebels), P. Mari Acuña (2 percent)
Steals : 5 : B. Datler (Linndale), H. Šapiras (Żubr Białystok), N. Neochoritis (Rip City Revival)
Block Shots : 3 : A. Varpukevicius (Miami Cleo), T. Colomina (The Ashkickers), T. Ogata (2 percent)

Top 5 of the evening
Point Guard : T. Begley (Carolina Rebels) (19 Points, 0 Rebounds, 10 Assists, 0 Steals, 2 Block Shots), H. Griffin (2 percent) (17 Points, 6 Rebounds, 4 Assists, 2 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 22
Shooting Guard : A. Varpukevicius (Miami Cleo) (34 Points, 14 Rebounds, 2 Assists, 2 Steals, 3 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 43
Small Forward : Á. Sütöri (Linndale) (18 Points, 9 Rebounds, 1 Assists, 1 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 26
Power Forward : T. Plummer (Carolina Rebels) (45 Points, 16 Rebounds, 6 Assists, 3 Steals, 2 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 68
Center : T. Armstead (Lion Rebels) (29 Points, 23 Rebounds, 4 Assists, 1 Steals, 2 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 47

MVP of the evening
T. Plummer (Carolina Rebels) (45 Points, 16 Rebounds, 6 Assists, 3 Steals, 2 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 68

The bad performance of the evening
W. Johnson (Mighty Moose Rockets) (0 Points, 3 Rebounds, 0 Assists, 0 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : -9

Triple-Double of the evening
P. Mari Acuña (2 percent) (23 Points, 16 Rebounds, 10 Assists, 2 Steals, 1 Block Shots)

All kinds of statistics
The player who forgot to remove his mittens : T. Medina (Lion Rebels) : 7 Turnovers

Player targeted by the referees : W. Clevenger (Carolina Rebels), T. Medina (Lion Rebels) : 6 Personnal Fouls

The iron-man : S. Hollins (Lion Rebels) : 51 Minutes

The shooter : A. Varpukevicius (Miami Cleo) : 6 Three points

The best performer : T. Armstead (Lion Rebels) : Rating : 19.0

The worst performer : W. Johnson (Mighty Moose Rockets) : Rating : 0.0

Well, shoot. Didn't get to my MVP predictions in time. Not that they're ever correct. At any rate, I think Nikky Nay winning is well deserved, but it's good to see The Ashkickers REPRESENTING in the top 5 - they've long been overlooked.

Good luck in the playoffs/relegation series - I'm hoping to stick around or at least give Tachenko a run for his money!

Linndale Exit Interviews, Part One

Coach: If you don't see me for your exit interview, you'll be meeting with Coach Pio Reina. The following players will report to me, the remaining to Coach Reina. Diullio Teti, Musa Ozol, Joe Brown, Daniel Gale, Balthasar Gebhardt Datler, and Kevin Jung will all report to my office and wait inside the conference room until i call each of you in individually. Arley Coronado report to my office immediately.

If I didn't get to call your name, you'll also report to the conference room and wait until Pio calls you into his office individually.

inside Coach's office

Coach: Arley, I wanted to personally thank you for everything you've done for us for this season and your time hear. I'm not in favor of this, but we need to make some changes. As a result you're being transferred. Hopefully, this gives you a chance to do what you do where you want to be. I know playing with the young guys can be frustrating and losing Mikhail Klimenkov had to be particularly painful. We're going to miss you but we wanted you to know how much we appreciate you.

Coronado: Coach, I wanted to be here for your last season. I wanted to have that last shot at getting you to the finals in D3.

Coach: This is Pio's team now. I'm just an over-titled adviser. You did exactly what you wanted. Thank you. I'm just here to oversee the transition. I've been doing this a long time. Time to step back and smell some flowers. This is my transition to retirement.

Coronado: Thanks for sharing that, Coach. You take care.

Coach: Keep my number. I'm not just a coach. I'd like to think I'm a friend and resource if you need one.

Coronado: Thanks, Coach. I will, and you are.
*walks out of office*

Coach: Teti, Ozul and Brown. Inside.

Teti: Sir?

Coach: First, the three of you are in here for a reason as a group. There was talk of moving on from you and the situation is fluid. You all can help someone, but we're not certain that that will happen here. Musa, you may be transferred. We don't know as we haven't decided how to proceed. Brown, same for you. I'm telling you this so you can be prepared IF it happens, but if you're back I'm telling you what to work on. Musa, your driving, inside game and inside defense are primary things to work on. Do with that what you will, but I'm assuming you'll be back. I expect you ready to play. Brownie, we've had this talk all season long. You already know. I think you'll be back, but if you don't get to work on your weaknesses, you'll be at the back of the bench. Teti, you filled a hole solidly. We're going in a different direction. Thank you all for your contributions. Good luck to you in the future.

*all three angrily storm out of the office*

Coach: Datler and Jung

Jung: Yeah, Coach?

Datler: This can't be good; I've seen the faces of the others.

Coach: Each circumstance is different. In your case, maybe not so much. You both are going to be back next season. You both have weaknesses to work on. We'll adjust our style somewhat to limit or hide those weaknesses, but you both have work to do. Your development will determine who finishes next year as the starting center; I expect one of you to take the step necessary to seize the position. Both of you need to improve shooting, range and outside defense. Kevin, keep improving your ball skills; I want to put you at guard on occassion in scrimmages to work on things. We may have to force feed Datler there in scrimmages; you're far behind Kevin in those areas. Inside, Kev you trail Datler offensively and on the boards. Defensively you're equal. I need you both to be better. Much better. You both have shot blocking potential. Develop your inside game on offense and defense, command the boards, and get the shot blocking there so we can roll with both of you on the front line at times. We're counting on you both.

Datler: This wasn't so bad. I'll be ready...


Last edited by Speedtraps at 10/22/2022 11:31:57 PM