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Week Nine Power Rankings
Lots of actual work being done for me in real life this week with the start of the new year, so a bit of an abbreviated power rankings this week. Zero movement in the bottom six spots with some minor adjustments from last week in the upper 10 teams. I think I've said this before, but this season's defense is top-notch! Just wish we didn't have some bot teams to contend with to make those matchups a little less lopsided and more competitive.

1. San Dominica Warriors (1)
Holding on to number one improving in both efficiency rankings to hold off #2 and #3 this week as they easily handled BKDogs before bringing the fire to torch Carolina at home. Time to prove their mettle this week with a road game against Philly Dribble followed by hosting 209's MostWanted.

2. Philly Dribble (2)
Staying (just barely) at number two, Phils_Wings is rounding into form with a healthy roster with a bot win followed by a drubbing of my sad sack of a squad. Next up, the aforementioned San Dominica for rights to the top of the Big 8 and then another not quite easy to relax game against Linndale on the road.

3. The Ashkickers (3)
My breaking of my "strickly follow the formula" ways last week proved fruitful as The Ashkickers stick to the top three and sneer at me from their 16-1 record and league leading +527 point differential. A bot matchup for them followed by the dismantling of the Spartans at home leads them into what could be an interesting matchup against Hustlas and then they play host to Żubr Białystok.

4. 209's MostWanted (8)
A big jump up the rankings, leapfrogging last week's other three teams tied for 3rd in my rankings, AlexFromThe209 lost to Linndale by 10 points at home, but then profited from facing BOTTTSBURGS with a 103-point victory, accruing a ridiculous 216 offensive efficiency points and -27 defensive efficiency points. What should be (but won't) an intriguing matchup against my cold-cocked crew happens Saturday before traveling to face San Dominica.

5. Miami Cleo (4)
The second best record in the league lands 5th after a nice victory over Hustlas and a somewhat expected victory against Żubr Białystok. Next up comes a bot matchup and then The Philadelphia Spartans are houseguests which should help them maintain their 2nd best record.

6. The Beer Bellys (6)
Clinging to 6th thanks to a victory over the Spartans followed by a nice tough win against Hustlas at home, the Keg is feeling pretty great with what could be a nice matchup with Żubr Białystok before bot-hosting next week.

7. Hustlas (5)
Dropping back-to-back tough matchups against Miami Cleo and the Bellys leaves their grip on 3rd in the Great 8 slipping - another difficult matchup against The Ashkickers looms before they get to play Motor City on the road for what should be a win. But will they be in 4th place by next week's rankings?

8. Linndale (7)
Two solid victories for Speedtraps' squad over 209's on the road before getting to host BKDogs. Next up, an interesting matchup against Carolina before then greeting Philly Dribble at home.

9. Carolina Rebels (9)
Carolina took care of business against the lousy Lion Rebels before getting thumped by more enthusiasm against the Warriors on the road. Next up, Linndale, for a chance to fight for 3rd in the conference and then a nice bot matchup to finish out the week.

10. Żubr Białystok (10)
Whitestok's group has to win out to finish above .500, but with matchups this week, it might be a lot to ask them to maintain even at the finish. They took it to Motor City on TV at home before then losing on the road to Miami. This week, they invite the Kegerators over before traveling to Tylormade's Ashkickers for what should be an Ashkicking.

11. The Philadelphia Spartans (11)
The Spartans enter into a 3-game losing streak after dropping a 12-point loss to The Beer Bellys and then falling on their faces against The Ashkickers. Next up, hopefully a win against Motor City at home before traveling to Will Smith's Miami.

12. Lion Rebels (12)
Sigh - if it's not an injury to one top player, the next player gets the bug as well. This might be the longest losing streak my group has endured as we've hit 4 losses in a row, with an additional two if you count the ending of the BBM and Cup. Stricken with Kurt Brown's injury, there's not much hope of winning a matchup on the road against 209's, but fortunately they might stem the losses at 5 with a home game against BKDogs. might

13. Motor City Waddupdoe (13)
I feel bad for these last two teams, as there's a significant drop off in efficiency from the previous 12 to these two. Motor City's Paul Cater has been their lone bright spot, but even he is the 43rd ranked player in terms of rating of all players that have played in the league this season with at least 12 games played. No other Motor City player is in the top 50. A loss to Żubr Białystok followed by their best performance of the season against Sweaty Bots at home granted them some reprieve with their 4th win, but it's hard to imagine them beating out whomever ends up 5th in the Big 8 in relegation. Next they travel to Philadelphia to take on the Spartans and then they play host to Hustlas.

14. BKDogs (14)
Losses to San Dominica and Linndale brought them through this week, but there's a twinkle on the horizon in what should be their 3rd win in a bot matchup before then hoping to stave off a struggling Lion Rebels on the road. Will their new group be able to pull out a win to form a winning streak?

15. Sweaty Bots (15)
Stinky Bots.

16. BOTTTSBURGS (16)
There wasn't ever much hope for this group before they went bot, but since then they've been truly TERRIBLE, now averaging 3.8 EFF and 193.1 OPP EFF. I wouldn't eat at this burger joint.

Pushing on to the playoffs (for some of you)!

"Well, you have to give it up to Carolina." Pio Reina says morosely. "They simply beat the crap out of us. We didn't have the firepower. Not gonna use the injury to Knowles as an excuse. Disappointed that we didn't have Mann available; but we knew that coming in and were ok with that. The game was essentially over with the 14-0 run they went on at the end of the first quarter and start of the second. Our bench kept us in the game in the first half, specifically that second quarter. Carolina just kicked our butts. We knew they were better inside. We planned for that as best we could. They took our backcourt, and really everybody out of the game for us offensively. We could not get anything going. Give Carolina all the flowers. Now we have to wonder if we even make the playoffs. We know Philly Dribble is tough, and we had figured that to be a loss. We can't lose another game. San Dominica and Lion Rebels are gonna come out swinging; specifically Lion Rebels. They'd love to give us a loss and cost us a postseason spot. If I were them, I sure as heck would feel that way. Look, we're gonna try and steal a win from Philly Dribble We have to, plus it would mean a heck of a lot to guys in my locker room if we can get that game. I don't think we've ever even come close since we got here. We want to beat them, and now, if we want to get to where we want to go, we have to. This loss hurts. Again, give Carolina all the flowers. That's all I have to say."

Day 18 (Saturday 7 January 2023) : Performances by (https://www.buzzer-manager.com)

Night results
Lion Rebels 72 - 209’s MostWanted 102
BOBBBSBURGS 41 - BKDogs 139
Linndale 57 - Carolina Rebels 75
San Dominica Warriors 65 - Philly Dribble 80
The Ashkickers 110 - Hustlas 100
The Beer Bellys 88 - Żubr Białystok 100
Miami Cleo 140 - Sweaty Socks 48
Motor City Waddupdoe 82 - The Philadelphia Spartans 104

Best collective performance of the evening
Points : 140 : Miami Cleo
Rebounds : 68 : Miami Cleo
Assists : 41 : Miami Cleo
Steals : 14 : Miami Cleo
Block Shots : 9 : Miami Cleo, BKDogs

Personal best performances of the evening
Points : 28 : G. Gattoni (The Ashkickers)
Rebounds : 20 : S. Klin (Hustlas)
Assists : 10 : M. Maurin (Miami Cleo)
Steals : 4 : G. Locus (Miami Cleo), T. Begley (Carolina Rebels), V. Lošták (BKDogs)
Block Shots : 4 : G. Locus (Miami Cleo), L. Senserrich (Hustlas)

Top 5 of the evening
Point Guard : L. Rojas (The Ashkickers) (24 Points, 7 Rebounds, 7 Assists, 3 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 29
Shooting Guard : A. Varpukevicius (Miami Cleo) (22 Points, 9 Rebounds, 7 Assists, 1 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 33
Small Forward : M. Maurin (Miami Cleo) (17 Points, 6 Rebounds, 10 Assists, 1 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 27
Power Forward : F. Taylor (The Philadelphia Spartans) (17 Points, 15 Rebounds, 7 Assists, 1 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 33
Center : G. Sankoh (BKDogs) (17 Points, 17 Rebounds, 2 Assists, 1 Steals, 2 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 37

MVP of the evening
G. Sankoh (BKDogs) (17 Points, 17 Rebounds, 2 Assists, 1 Steals, 2 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 37

The bad performance of the evening
T. Hewitt (BOBBBSBURGS) (4 Points, 2 Rebounds, 0 Assists, 0 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : -11

All kinds of statistics
The player who forgot to remove his mittens : J. Dotson (Sweaty Socks), T. Hewitt (BOBBBSBURGS) : 7 Turnovers

Player targeted by the referees : L. Rojas (The Ashkickers), T. Medina (Lion Rebels) : 6 Personnal Fouls

The iron-man : G. Locus (Miami Cleo), J. Dotson (Sweaty Socks), M. Redman (Motor City Waddupdoe), S. Hatch (Żubr Białystok) : 48 Minutes

The shooter : A. Varpukevicius (Miami Cleo), J. Dotson (Sweaty Socks), J. Bégin (San Dominica Warriors) : 4 Three points

The best performer : A. Varpukevicius (Miami Cleo) : Rating : 16.5

The worst performer : J. Moore (BOBBBSBURGS) : Rating : 1.5

Warriors Pregame Press Conference:
Shaw Memorial Gym

REPORTER 1: Coach, another game tonight that can have huge implications in the playoff race, what can we expect to see from your team.

COACH S: What you'll always see from us. We're going to go out and try to get a big win against a very good 209 team. The Outlaws are as both their namesakes state: dangerous.

REPORTER 2: Coach, your team came out basically firing on all cylinders against Carolina and then the next game we basically got a load management game against the Dribble that could have had you in a tie for first place if you guys had won. What's the strategy here?

COACH S: Our strategy is the same as it has always been. First and foremost, make the playoffs. Second, make sure we have the healthiest and most efficient roster possible when we make the playoffs. So far in this final six game stretch every game plan has been in the pursuit of that goal. I won't lie we have thought of every possible scenario that leads to the best possible position for us in the playoffs. If you have something to say about our team's past efforts, say it and be done but right now our focus is on the Most Wanted and sending them back to Cali with their eighth loss. Next question.


Last edited by Coach Stephenson at 1/10/2023 12:33:15 PM

Next question.

lol - love the attitude.

Day 19 (Tuesday 10 January 2023) : Performances by (https://www.buzzer-manager.com)

Night results
BKDogs 92 - Lion Rebels 123
Carolina Rebels 153 - BOBBBSBURGS 38
Philly Dribble 113 - Linndale 106
209’s MostWanted 85 - San Dominica Warriors 96
Żubr Białystok 72 - The Ashkickers 103
Sweaty Socks 38 - The Beer Bellys 138
The Philadelphia Spartans 87 - Miami Cleo 110
Hustlas 117 - Motor City Waddupdoe 90

Best collective performance of the evening
Points : 153 : Carolina Rebels
Rebounds : 70 : The Beer Bellys
Assists : 46 : Carolina Rebels
Steals : 19 : Carolina Rebels
Block Shots : 12 : The Beer Bellys

Personal best performances of the evening
Points : 30 : T. Plummer (Carolina Rebels), L. Rojas (The Ashkickers)
Rebounds : 26 : I. Homs (The Beer Bellys)
Assists : 15 : T. Plummer (Carolina Rebels)
Steals : 5 : T. Begley (Carolina Rebels)
Block Shots : 8 : C. Riggins (Żubr Białystok)

Top 5 of the evening
Point Guard : T. Plummer (Carolina Rebels) (30 Points, 9 Rebounds, 15 Assists, 4 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 49
Shooting Guard : A. Llanos (The Philadelphia Spartans) (21 Points, 5 Rebounds, 4 Assists, 1 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 26
Small Forward : T. Begley (Carolina Rebels) (28 Points, 6 Rebounds, 12 Assists, 5 Steals, 3 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 48
Power Forward : I. Homs (The Beer Bellys) (27 Points, 26 Rebounds, 4 Assists, 3 Steals, 2 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 48
Center : A. Gallucci (Miami Cleo) (26 Points, 22 Rebounds, 5 Assists, 1 Steals, 5 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 49

MVP of the evening
A. Gallucci (Miami Cleo) (26 Points, 22 Rebounds, 5 Assists, 1 Steals, 5 Block Shots), T. Plummer (Carolina Rebels) (30 Points, 9 Rebounds, 15 Assists, 4 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 49

The bad performance of the evening
T. Hewitt (BOBBBSBURGS) (3 Points, 1 Rebounds, 0 Assists, 1 Steals, 0 Block Shots), : Efficiency : -16

All kinds of statistics
The player who forgot to remove his mittens : T. Hewitt (BOBBBSBURGS) : 6 Turnovers

Player targeted by the referees : F. Taylor (The Philadelphia Spartans), O. Reine (The Ashkickers), T. Hewitt (BOBBBSBURGS) : 6 Personnal Fouls

The iron-man : A. Gallucci (Miami Cleo), J. Dotson (Sweaty Socks), T. Plummer (Carolina Rebels), M. Bowie (Motor City Waddupdoe), S. Hollins (Lion Rebels), M. Grimm (Żubr Białystok) : 48 Minutes

The shooter : T. Begley (Carolina Rebels), B. Coenen (Linndale) : 5 Three points

The best performer : P. Fasselli (Philly Dribble) : Rating : 17.0

The worst performer : G. Blair (BOBBBSBURGS) : Rating : 0.5

"Hello. I am Tornike Kvelashvili, the PR Manager for the Lnndale basketball organization. I will now read a prepared statement."

"There will be no statement from the coaching staff, the GM or anyone with from the Linndale basketball organization. The entirety of the organization isis devastated at the outcome of tonight's game and embarrassing performance. Details for fans wishing a refund will be announeced soon via our television and radio partners. The Lonndale basketball organization deeply and humbly apologizes for the disgusting display of basketball that was the first quarter of the game."

*hear shouting coming from locker room area*

"Are there any questions?"

Unknown reporter: "Nothing you can answer; you're just the latest PR hack around here."

Happy Ourer: "We realize you're just the messenger, but how long is the locker room going to be closed? There's clearly something going on, and we'd like our access to cover the team."

Tornike Kvelashvili: "There will be no locker room access. It is closed. The league will discipline us however they see fit."

second unknown reporter: "Who gonna stops us from going?"

*more shouting heard, sounds of things crashing to the floor*

Happy Ourer: "Let's go; they can't stop all of us!"

Week Ten Power Rankings
One more full week of games before we venture into Season 59's playoffs where all 8 seeds are just about wrapped up, although 209's MostWanted, while on the outside looking in, still has a chance to sneak in, especially thanks to their great point differential on the season.

The Great 8 looks Pretty Locked In, with The Ashkickers at #1. Although Miami still technically has a chance to catch them, Ashkickers would have to lose all three of their final games, and with a matchup against Motor City next Tuesday, I imagine they'll lock it up, regardless of what happens in the matchup of the week on Saturday night. That leaves Miami at #2, with Hustlas and The Beer Bellys jockeying for 3rd/4th seeds. Unfortunately for whitestok, Żubr Białystok's luck has run out on their push to get back into the mix, but they'll either have a relegation matchup against BKDogs (most likely) or the Lion Rebels, both of which they should win.

On the other side, There are only four games separating #1 and #5, with one game in between each team as we come down to the final week. Here's how I see that playing out:
Philly and San Dominica will run the table, while Linndale and Carolina win two out of three, and 209's end up losing two of three. Final standings projection:
1. Philly Dribble (18-4)
2. San Dominica (16-6)
3. Carolina Rebels (16-6) (San Dominica projected to have a higher point differential for the tie breaker)
4. Linndale (14-8)
And 209's will have a nice easy relegation matchup against Motor City, unless the Spartans somehow lose their next two games and forfeit their matchup against Sweaty Socks.

Anyway, onto the rankings - number in parenthesis represents last week's ranking!

1. Philly Dribble (2)
Leapfrogging San Dominica this week, Philly hasn't lost a game since dropping one to Miami before the all-star break. Last Saturday, they put San Dominica in their place with a 15-point defeat, holding them to just 65 points with some prominent rated perimeter defense and then they disposed of Linndale 113-106 on the road in a game Speedtraps needed to try and improve their seeding, but thanks to Philly's 27-9 jump in the first quarter, it was basically impossible for them to catchup after that, even though they won each of the next three quarters. Having Paride Fasselli come off the bench is a pretty devastating 6th man weapon. Next up, they take BKDogs on a walk through the park before hosting 209's MostWanted in what I'm predicting should both be wins.

2. San Dominica Warriors (1)
Faltering this week, the Warriors dropped to 3rd in EFFG and OPP EFFG after going 1-1 this week. They defeated 209's to keep them suppressed with an 11-point victory in which the MostWanted matched up decently with San Dominica but couldn't recover after losing the 2nd & 3rd quarters after winning the 1st. Luís Alberto Baião had a nice game at SF scoring 28 points on 11-26, including 4 three pointers. San Dom is ordering in Burgers this weekend before traveling to Daylis for what should be an easy win over the struggling Lion Rebels.

3. Miami Cleo (5)
How does Miami jump The Ashkickers? According to the metrics, Miami is a tad more efficient on offense and 2nd only to them in defensive efficiency. With an easy victory against the Socks followed by a dominant win over the Spartans, the rankings will be tested immediately as The Ashkickers travel to Miami for the premiere matchup of the week. Flashback to November 19th, when Tylormade's crew put the smackdown on Miami, holding them to only 45 points at home - we'll see if the story is any different this weekend. After that, Miami travels to the Keg for what could be an interesting matchup against The Beer Bellys.

4. The Ashkickers (3)
With the track Tylormade's group is on, I wouldn't be surprised if they changed their team’s name to The Disrespected Ashkickers. Sure, by the rankings, they're listed fifth, but sheesh(!), that defense is OBLITERATING offenses left and right as they're holding teams to under 70 PPG, only giving up 100 points (exactly) once this season, and that was last Saturday against Hustlas. They followed up that 10-point victory with a dominant display against Żubr Białystok at home. The aforementioned Miami matchup looms before a cake walk against Motor City next week. I'm guessing they move up these rankings after that.

5. The Beer Bellys (6)
Up a spot in the rankings this week with a nice push up the offensive efficiency rankings (now ranked 2nd) thanks to their 100-point victory over Sweaty Bots after losing by 12 to Żubr Białystok's fast pace last weekend. Their perimeter defense wasn't enough while whitestok's interior defense help up against the Bellys prominent inside scoring attack. They were up by one after three quarters, but Żubr Białystok's wings went off in a 36-point fourth quarter with H. Sapiras scoring 10 and E. Solano adding another 7 to lead the way to victory. Fortunately for the Bellys, despite the fact they still have to play Miami and The Ashkickers, they're playoff fate is sealed with a road game against Motor City to kick off their last three games.

6. Hustlas (7)
Inching back up the rankings, Hustlas have a chance to move up in the final rankings next week with a bot game followed by what should be a winnable matchup against The Philadelphia Spartans on the road. While they suffered a 10-point loss to The Ashkickers last weekend, they followed that up with a threatening display in a win on the road against Motor City on Tuesday. 38-year-old Jonata Esposito is their primary scoring force, ranking 6th in the league in points, while 37-year-old Sławek Klin holds the anchor down in the middle, ranking #1 in defensive rebounds and #2 in rebounds overall (also ranks #14 in Defensive rebounds in Division III and #74 in the USA). They're nothing to sneeze at in the playoffs.

7. 209's MostWanted (4)
Bit of a slide for the 209's this week, though their efficiency numbers didn't change that much (less than two points in each category), but things are so tight, especially on the offensive side, they went from 3rd to 7th in offensive efficiency with a lop-sided victory over the Lion Rebels followed by the previously mentioned defeat to San Dominica on Tuesday. While I think they're locked into the 5th seed in the Big 8 thanks to matchups with Carolina (TV Game) followed by a road visit to Philly Dribble this week, they should survive relegation against what looks like Motor City.

8. Linndale (8)
We knew last week was going to be tough for Linndale, facing Carolina and Philly Dribble this last week. Carolina came out punching and held them to only 57 points with Linndale opting for the patient approach but only shot 27.4% from the field, including 3-19 from three, which, YIKES! Carolina's Big Men were a force, each recording 18 points to go along with 33 total rebounds between the two of them. Then came Philly who punched them in the face in the first quarter and went on to hold Speedtraps group off for the rest of the game, sending the team into a tizzy with an unprecedented sealed off locker room after they again struggled from the field, shooting 37.6% this time, but Knowles missed a lot of shots, shooting only 26% on the night, but still scored 20 points thanks to three threes and 5 free throws. B. Coenen had a nice night, hitting 5-7 from three, but he can't be the only one to carry the team. Next up come the hapless Lion Rebels before they get a treat visiting BOBBBSBOTTS.

9. Carolina Rebels (9)
Another team my metrics aren't giving enough credence to (probably) and Daisy has a right to be annoyed, seeing as they're sitting at the second seed in the Big 8, especially after that defensive dominance over Linndale last weekend. Funnily enough, their defensive efficiency ranking is why they end up just below Linndale, as they rank 10th overall while Linndale ranks 6th. Either way, that was a hell of a performance and probably what got Speedtraps' crew allllll hot and bothered come Tuesday night. A Nothing To See Here win over BOBBBS with a tremendous 115-point victory on Tuesday and now they move on to a road matchup with 209's followed by hosting BKDogs.

10. Żubr Białystok (10)
As expected whitestok's group ended up falling to The Ashkickers last week which inhibited their ability to make a last second play-off push, but they have to feel good with a nice win over The Beer Bellys before that on Saturday night, beating them out by 12. While I admit I was surprised by their performance last season, finishing 2nd in the standings, I'm equally surprised by their drop off this season to be a .500ish team. They've got a chance this week to make up ground to get to .500 with a matchup at home against the Spartans followed by a bot game at Sweaty Socks, which will lead to their final game, facing off against Hustlas.

11. The Philadelphia Spartans (11)
An easy win last weekend while hosting Motor City with 6 players scoring double digits, two of them off the bench in a game that wasn't really ever close. They got their comeuppance traveling to Miami, however, losing by 23 on the backside of the week. Next up, the aforementioned trip to Żubr Białystok before then having to host Hustlas. I'm predicting two more losses on the season before they get to finish out against Sweaty Socks at home in their final game.

12. Lion Rebels (12)
Finally rid of the injury bug, rumor has it that Lion Rebels management is looking to purposefully relegate to get one easy season of training in before trying to return to Div III with another attempt at it before T. Armstead starts to decline. A brutal Is Anyone Even Trying game against 209's resulted in a 30-point loss before the gods mercifully presented BKDogs to the altar at Daylis Stadium for a 31-point victory to snap their five-game losing streak. This next week doesn't look promising as they travel to Linndale before playing host to San Dominica. This isn't their worst season ever, having only won 4 games in Season 54 in Div III.15, but they are in danger of having their 2nd worst season even if they can't win just one more game to tie their Season 53 record of 7-15. Looking bleak.

13. Motor City Waddupdoe (13)
For the season, Motor City is shooting just 33% from the field, including a paltry 28% from three and are averaging just 72.8 PPG. It's been a rough 2nd season for the squad as they'll most likely venture back down to Div IV after winning IV.46 in their inaugural season. A loss to Philadelphia Spartans last weekend was followed by a demoralizing defeat at the hands of Hustlas this week. And it's not going to get better as they finish the season out against current seeds 4 (The Beer Bellys), 1 (The Ashkickers), and 2 (Miami Cleo).

14. BKDogs (14)
BKDogs welcomed a bot win against BOBBBS this last week scoring a regular season high of 139-points shooting almost 60% from the field and hitting 11-17 from three enroute to their third victory of the season. That was followed by the previously noted defeat to Lion Rebels. Next up comes seeds 1 & 2 in the Big 8, Philly Dribble and Carolina Rebels before they finish out the season hosting 209's MostWanted.

15. Sweaty Bots (15)
Blech.

16. BOTTTSBURGS (16)
Will their defensive efficiency reach the Illustrious 200 mark?! I'll let you know next week!

Last have a fun last full week of the regular season - good luck!