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4. Miami Cleo (8)
EFFG: 6 OPP EFFG: 3
Another defensive stalwart, Miami's team has been difficult to score against allowing 71.9 PPG in 14 games (one less because of the walk-over win). They did suffer their 3rd loss to San Dominica last week, but soundly defeated then #1 seed Carolina Rebels. A great matchup is on the books for Saturday night as they travel to face Hustlas before then getting a rematch against Żubr Białystok who allowed the walk-over win early on in the season, so we should get a good glimpse of what that game should have resulted in.

5. Hustlas (7)
EFFG: 2 OPP EFFG: 7
In a diametric flip from all but one of the other top 5 teams, Hustlas enters the fray with the 2nd most efficient offense while giving up a bit more on defense than would be appreciated by the home crowd. Still, they've only lost 3 matchups thanks to a league-leading 103.4 PPG scored. Dominant wins this last week over Lion Rebels and BKDogs to finish out their Big 8 run which brought them said losses to Carolina, Philly, and San Dominica for a rare 3 game losing streak before righting the ship against Linndale and cruising the rest of the way through. A difficult matchup against Miami looms for the right to 2nd place in the Great 8, followed by a TV game on the road at The Keg. Pretty dynamic week for Reece's crew.

6. The Beer Bellys (3)
EFFG: 4 OPP EFFG: 5
Based on my tie breakers (Last week's average ranking followed by OPP EFFG), The Beery Bellys would've been 3rd in these rankings if I hadn't taken matters into my own hands. But with a 9-6 record and having shown a tendency for erratic enthusiasm behavior, it's hard to trust them more than I could trust myself lifting a full keg over my head. While they've shown the capacity to score, they've also had several games where their offense just hasn't shown up, scoring only 59 points in a loss to Carolina and 64 earlier in the season in their first matchup with The Ashkickers. Juan Gilberto Segovia is a sexy pick for a top 10 player in the league, but some nights his shooting is just off (he was 3-16 against Carolina). It was as nice win over San Dominica, but that came at the expense of a loss to Linndale the following game. This week they tee off against the Spartans before hosting Hustlas in the aforementioned TV game.

7. Linndale (5)
EFFG: 9 OPP EFFG: 4
Speedtraps' group has the same record as the #1 ranked team, but finds themselves in 7th based on efficiency ranks. Their defensive efficiency is quite good, ranking in the top 4, but their offensive "woes" leave them ranked this low. Truth is, they're only 13 efficiency points behind the league leader. They're a quality squad that is getting a bad rap. After losing their 2nd game of the season to San Dominica before starting their run through the Great 8, they lost decisively to Miami before stringing together easy wins against the bottom of the heap in the Great 8, then suffered another loss to Hustlas, had a convincing win against Zubr, then loss a relatively close match to The Ashkickers before coming out on top of The Beer Bellys by 6. They've got an important matchup against the 209's tomorrow night before playing host to BKDogs on Tuesday. I think they're a playoff team, but we'll have to see what 209's has to say about that.

8. 209's MostWanted (4)
EFFG: 5 OPP EFFG: 8
With a top 5 offense, 209's only issue is their defensive liability, which isn't really that bad. In fact, they made a nice 13-point improvement on it from week 6 when it was 93.9, could for 10th in the league. They technically tied with Linndale for 7th, but thanks to the previous rankings find themselves slotted a spot lower. Even though they've lost 6 games, their point differential is a healthy 252, which puts them in a good spot to contend for that last playoff spot if it comes down to tie breakers. A nice easy holiday game schedule gave them two wins to boost their win percentage and now they find themselves in a critical matchup hosting Linndale in a rematch of the first game of the season which they lost by 12 on the road. If they win that game, they've got a great opportunity to move up in the standings as they face BOBBBSBOTS next week as well.

9. Carolina Rebels (9)
EFFG: 7 OPP EFFG: 10
This is, most likely, the most egregious ranking I've ever made as Daisy Merollin has done a fabulous job of managing their game shape and enthusiasm, using it to their advantage in opportune times, which has resulted in them only having 4 losses on the season, with the trouble being that in 3 of those losses, they were pretty soundly drummed out and in two of them, looked like they had no business being on the floor. A loss on Christmas Eve to Miami followed by a win over Motor City left them with a 6-2 record through the Great 8 run and now they turn to host the lesser Rebels before facing off against San Dominica - two wins here would solidify their playoff hold, while going 1-1 will leave them about the same, though they'll probably be dropped to the third seed in the Big 8.

10. Żubr Białystok (11)
EFFG: 10 OPP EFFG: 9
Despite losing 9 games, whitestok's group has a +152-point differential and technically still has a shot at the play offs if everything goes right for them and one of the top 4 teams takes a tumble. They enjoyed a nice holiday game schedule having been gifted BOBBBSBOTS for Christmas followed by a dominant performance against the hapless (and injured) Lion Rebels. Next up, what should be a win against Motor City followed by a challenging road game against Miami that they'll probably need to win to keep their playoff hopes alive.

11. The Philadelphia Spartans (14)
EFFG: 12 OPP EFFG: 11
Coach Victor's group endured a brief amount of hope with their two bigs that transferred in, but that was short-lived as it ended up not being sustainable. They've been all over the board this season, with a thrilling victory over then 1 seed Philly Dribble at the end of November in an incredible upset only to lose their next three games against the rest of the top seeds in the Big 8 and even losing a game to the Terrible Lions. Last week was a nice easy win over BKDogs, followed by a thumping at the hands of 209's MostWanted. They're most likely locked into the 6th seed in the Great 8 as I don't see Motor City having a shot at taking them down even though they're only two games back. But who knows, perhaps the Spartans will surprise us and overtake Żubr for the 5th seed and the right to battle it out against BKDogs for relegation. If they perform well against the Bellys, there's a chance that comes true, but they do face The Ashkickers next Tuesday in what should be a loss.

12. Lion Rebels (11)
EFFG: 11 OPP EFFG: 12
The win over Philadelphia back before the all-star break was a muted victory as it was announced after the game that their star center, Terry Armstead was going to miss two weeks of action due to a sprained knee. While they had hoped a win would spark something, the injury all but sealed their fate with the team moving on from SG/SF Fabio Carillo and selling a young guard due to training schedule changes. With the season appearing to be doomed, they appear to have opted to try to not relegate by bringing in two mid-level guards to stable the ground, though the early returns on that haven't proved promising with Parent and Stott only contributing 10 points in their two losses this week to Hustlas and Żubr Białystok. It doesn't look too promising, however, with Armstead still out after 14 days and matchups against Carolina and Philly Dribble. They appear locked into the 6th seed in the Big 8.

13. Motor City Waddupdoe (12)
EFFG: 14 OPP EFFG: 13
Motor City is in a three-game losing streak after finally getting their 3rd win on the season in a victory over BKDogs before the all-star break. Losses to Philly Dribble and Carolina weren't particularly close as they closed out their Big 8 tour with a 2-6 record. But a light is on the horizon after they face off against Żubr in a TV game on the road as they host Sweaty Bots in what is most likely their last win of the season unless they can pull something off against the Spartans next week.

14. BKDogs (14)
EFFG: 13 OPP EFFG: 14
BK has embarked on their 3rd losing streak of the season, dropping games to the Spartans and Hustlas in games that were not very close. But, in good news, they've brought in 6 new players since December 18th, including 35-year-old PG Adrián Galaz, 33-year-old Viktor Lošták, and 33-year-old Karl Easter to play alongside stars Patryk Matkowski and Gilbert Sankoh. The next step in the process is to improve on that game shape. They've got a matchup against the recovering Lion Rebels in week 10, but if they want to get the 6th seed, they'll need to beat at least one other very capable team to try to knock the Rebels down to 7th. (So you're saying there's a chance!) EDIT: I totally hadn't read Speedtraps posts before I wrote this - nice coincidence.

15. Sweaty Bots (15)
Fun fact: if a team goes bot but had set a default lineup and tactics, they still play those tactics and don't revert to Base Offense.

16. BOBBBSBOTS (16)
Fare thee well.

Good luck this week - hope you all had a nice holiday season!

"Why can't we stop the Look Inside offense?" shouts Bobby Sparks. "I don't know. But if Miami Cleo picked this offense, and we picked Outside defense, then we don't have a chance to win this one. It is our weakness. And it's all our losses," said John Walton. "Maybe we'll get lucky."

"Are you watching this game?" Asked Bobby Sparks. "I don't think so."

"I'm happy we won, but don't start getting the big head. From here on out, every game is a playoff game for us. We cannot afford to slip. You guys understand that? Yes we won, but I'm not happy. Fine, we had 3 guys grab double figures in rebounds, BUT THEY STILL OUTREBOUNDED US!!! WE TURNED THE BALL OVER TOO MUCH!!! THEY MATCHED US IN STEALS AND HAD MORE BLOCKS!!! THAT'S DESIRE!!! THEY HAD THAT "WANT TO"!!! WHEN ARE YOU GUYS GOING TO SHOW ME THAT WANT TO?!?" Pio Reina was enraged with his basketball team's performance. "That is not championship basketball. Not going to get it done. Not going to get us to the finals. Not going to get us to the congerence finals. Hell, it won't get us out of the first round. You know better; now do better."

"On the bright side," Pio continued, "welcome back Kyle. Nice to have you visit, Mr. Kamp. Please do stay for a while and make yourself at home. Now I have a question. I'm going to leave this locker room and let you all think about it. My starters don't have to answer this but the bench does; I got a different question for you guys. Hey Bench, you DO know the ball goes IN THE BASKET... right? And starters, spefiically the bigs, you DO know how to score points, right? WE put the ball in the hole, THEN WE STOP THE OTHER TEAM FROM DOING THE SAME!!! THIS IS HOW YOU PLAY BASKETBALL AND WIN!!! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?"

Walking out of the locker room, Pio looks back at the team. "Nice win. Do better."

Pio Reina grabs his phone to charge it when it goes off in his hands. He opens the incomin text message.

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. We're shooting. Hope you know if we make any by the time you wake up. And nice speech after the game yesterday. You rattled a couple of people, and they needed it."

Pio's last coherent thought as he drifts of to sleep is "I hope we wreck the depth chart..."

Day 16 (Saturday 31 December 2022) : Performances by (https://www.buzzer-manager.com)

Night results
Lion Rebels 90 - Carolina Rebels 105
BOBBBSBURGS 46 - Philly Dribble 120
Linndale 87 - 209’s MostWanted 77
San Dominica Warriors 103 - BKDogs 71
The Ashkickers 128 - Sweaty Socks 38
The Beer Bellys 114 - The Philadelphia Spartans 102
Miami Cleo 102 - Hustlas 92
Motor City Waddupdoe 42 - Żubr Białystok 97

Best collective performance of the evening
Points : 128 : The Ashkickers
Rebounds : 64 : Philly Dribble
Assists : 39 : Philly Dribble
Steals : 14 : The Ashkickers
Block Shots : 11 : Żubr Białystok

Personal best performances of the evening
Points : 30 : K. Knowles (Linndale)
Rebounds : 20 : C. Riggins (Żubr Białystok), S. Klin (Hustlas)
Assists : 12 : D. Santana (Miami Cleo)
Steals : 5 : M. Maurin (Miami Cleo)
Block Shots : 4 : C. Riggins (Żubr Białystok)

Top 5 of the evening
Point Guard : D. Santana (Miami Cleo) (14 Points, 7 Rebounds, 12 Assists, 4 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 29
Shooting Guard : L. Baião (San Dominica Warriors) (28 Points, 10 Rebounds, 2 Assists, 0 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 36
Small Forward : Y. Georgoulis (The Beer Bellys) (28 Points, 6 Rebounds, 2 Assists, 1 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 30
Power Forward : L. Talbot (Philly Dribble) (21 Points, 8 Rebounds, 4 Assists, 1 Steals, 3 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 33
Center : S. Asulin (The Philadelphia Spartans) (18 Points, 11 Rebounds, 9 Assists, 0 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 34

MVP of the evening
L. Baião (San Dominica Warriors) (28 Points, 10 Rebounds, 2 Assists, 0 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 36

The bad performance of the evening
L. Adams (Sweaty Socks) (6 Points, 1 Rebounds, 0 Assists, 1 Steals, 0 Block Shots)J. Medina (Motor City Waddupdoe) (5 Points, 6 Rebounds, 2 Assists, 0 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : -7

All kinds of statistics
The player who forgot to remove his mittens : G. Locus (Miami Cleo), H. Espinosa (Carolina Rebels) : 6 Turnovers

Player targeted by the referees : A. Bueno (Sweaty Socks), L. Arevalo (Carolina Rebels), I. Gamón (Motor City Waddupdoe) : 6 Personnal Fouls

The iron-man : G. Locus (Miami Cleo) : 53 Minutes

The shooter : K. Knowles (Linndale), B. Coenen (Linndale), L. Baião (San Dominica Warriors), Y. Georgoulis (The Beer Bellys) : 4 Three points

The best performer : M. San Miguel (The Ashkickers), C. Riggins (Żubr Białystok) : Rating : 17.5

The worst performer : J. Moore (BOBBBSBURGS), J. Billingsley (BOBBBSBURGS) : Rating : 2.0

"I'm relatively new here, but I'm the most experinced guy here. Most of you guys don't have a clue what we're in for. You'd better listen up. We're fighting for a playoff spot, we're fighting for seeding, and we do not have the luxury of an easy schedule."

Ubaldo Pestana hadn't said much since he arrived, but it was clear he was respected in the locker room and his teammates were taking note of his words.

"I hear the talk. I'm putting a stop to it right now. We've got 6 games left. We hold a 2 game lead on 209's Most Wanted. We have 2 trap games we can neither afford to overlook our opponent or lose. We have 3 games that are essentially playoff games. We cannot afford to lose. We have 1 game that's a scrimmage,---"

"BOBBBSBURGS!!!", screamed the team in unison, briefly interrupting Pestana.

He continued, "and if we take care of business that scrimmage will come right before what might be the most important game of the year. You frontcourt guys are very green. My advice is listen to those of us that have been there and gotten some hard won experience. That's me, Antti, and Kyle. Don't sleep on Bobbie, Paul and Daniil either; they don't have the experience we have but they have more than the lot of you and we will be chirping in their ears too. I wasn't brught in to be here long term and I know that. This is what I'm here for. This is my playoff now. This is your playoff now. You can be good, or you can be great. If you don't want to be great, get out of my locker room. This could be my last shot, and I'm not about to have a snot nosed, brain dead punk mess this up for me."

No one left the room.

"Even you guys who don't play much, you're more important now than ever. Bring it. Give us everything you got in practive and scrimmages. Your job is threefold: Get better, make US better, and be ready. If someone gets hurt, you're up AND THERE ARE NO EXCUSES. DO YOUR JOB TO THE BEST OF YOUR ABILITIES. COACHES INCLUDED. You guys do that, I promise you we'll sort the rest out."

"Coach, Coach Reina, that's all I have to say. You can come inside now, I know you're outside the door."

Walking in to the locker room, Pio remarks, "Coach, I guess you're in charge now. I feel like I'm supposed to suit up!"

Coach barks out, "ALL RIGHT, WHO'S READY TO WORK?"

"NO DAYS OFF" reply the players in unison.

"Okay, I like what I saw in the game against Beer Belly's," said Bobby Sparks.
"I know. Sucks that we didn't win it, but the game wasn't for us to win, it was to check out our lineups with the look inside offense and the 2-3 defense. It delivered, just not in crunch time. We've never been good at implementing the two together. I should have kept the lineups the way they were instead of tweaking them," said Coach Boone.

"Yes, well, we are in the playoffs. I like the third seed. We just have to keep that. I don't care how the rest of the season play out. Just keep the third seed, see how we do against the Ashkickers, and get our guys ready for the postseason," said Bobby Sparks.

"That is the plan. We may go Low Post in the final game, just to see how it goes. But I haven't decided yet. We lost two in a row. We don't want to make it a third," said Coach Boone. "I don't care if you lose, as long as we get that third seed," said Bobby Sparks.

Day 17 (Tuesday 3 January 2023) : Performances by (https://www.buzzer-manager.com)

Night results
Philly Dribble 84 - Lion Rebels 66
209’s MostWanted 133 - BOBBBSBURGS 30
BKDogs 66 - Linndale 97
Carolina Rebels 77 - San Dominica Warriors 126
The Philadelphia Spartans 76 - The Ashkickers 111
Hustlas 83 - The Beer Bellys 94
Żubr Białystok 66 - Miami Cleo 82
Sweaty Socks 54 - Motor City Waddupdoe 139

Best collective performance of the evening
Points : 139 : Motor City Waddupdoe
Rebounds : 60 : 209’s MostWanted
Assists : 40 : Motor City Waddupdoe
Steals : 17 : 209’s MostWanted
Block Shots : 13 : 209’s MostWanted

Personal best performances of the evening
Points : 39 : K. Knowles (Linndale)
Rebounds : 18 : M. Bowie (Motor City Waddupdoe)
Assists : 9 : Z. Shunyi (209’s MostWanted), M. Smalls (Motor City Waddupdoe)
Steals : 5 : J. Dotson (Sweaty Socks)
Block Shots : 4 : J. Medina (Motor City Waddupdoe), K. Knapp (Motor City Waddupdoe)

Top 5 of the evening
Point Guard : F. Alidori (San Dominica Warriors) (27 Points, 1 Rebounds, 0 Assists, 2 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 26
Shooting Guard : L. Baião (San Dominica Warriors) (33 Points, 4 Rebounds, 3 Assists, 0 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 35
Small Forward : P. Cuellar (209’s MostWanted) (21 Points, 2 Rebounds, 1 Assists, 1 Steals, 1 Block Shots), K. Knapp (Motor City Waddupdoe) (15 Points, 5 Rebounds, 6 Assists, 1 Steals, 4 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 25
Power Forward : P. Cater (Motor City Waddupdoe) (26 Points, 14 Rebounds, 3 Assists, 0 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 39
Center : M. Bowie (Motor City Waddupdoe) (24 Points, 18 Rebounds, 7 Assists, 0 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 42

MVP of the evening
M. Bowie (Motor City Waddupdoe) (24 Points, 18 Rebounds, 7 Assists, 0 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 42

The bad performance of the evening
J. Moore (BOBBBSBURGS) (0 Points, 4 Rebounds, 2 Assists, 0 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : -15

All kinds of statistics
The player who forgot to remove his mittens : J. Dotson (Sweaty Socks) : 8 Turnovers

Player targeted by the referees : B. George (Carolina Rebels), M. Bowie (Motor City Waddupdoe), N. Williams (Hustlas), M. Navarro (Hustlas), P. Matkowski (BKDogs), G. Blair (BOBBBSBURGS) : 5 Personnal Fouls

The iron-man : A. Gallucci (Miami Cleo), J. Dotson (Sweaty Socks), E. Quintana (Carolina Rebels), B. George (Carolina Rebels), R. Sedonio (Lion Rebels), H. Quindós (Żubr Białystok) : 48 Minutes

The shooter : F. Alidori (San Dominica Warriors) : 5 Three points

The best performer : M. San Miguel (The Ashkickers) : Rating : 17.0

The worst performer : J. Moore (BOBBBSBURGS) : Rating : 1.5

Week Nine Power Rankings
Lots of actual work being done for me in real life this week with the start of the new year, so a bit of an abbreviated power rankings this week. Zero movement in the bottom six spots with some minor adjustments from last week in the upper 10 teams. I think I've said this before, but this season's defense is top-notch! Just wish we didn't have some bot teams to contend with to make those matchups a little less lopsided and more competitive.

1. San Dominica Warriors (1)
Holding on to number one improving in both efficiency rankings to hold off #2 and #3 this week as they easily handled BKDogs before bringing the fire to torch Carolina at home. Time to prove their mettle this week with a road game against Philly Dribble followed by hosting 209's MostWanted.

2. Philly Dribble (2)
Staying (just barely) at number two, Phils_Wings is rounding into form with a healthy roster with a bot win followed by a drubbing of my sad sack of a squad. Next up, the aforementioned San Dominica for rights to the top of the Big 8 and then another not quite easy to relax game against Linndale on the road.

3. The Ashkickers (3)
My breaking of my "strickly follow the formula" ways last week proved fruitful as The Ashkickers stick to the top three and sneer at me from their 16-1 record and league leading +527 point differential. A bot matchup for them followed by the dismantling of the Spartans at home leads them into what could be an interesting matchup against Hustlas and then they play host to Żubr Białystok.

4. 209's MostWanted (8)
A big jump up the rankings, leapfrogging last week's other three teams tied for 3rd in my rankings, AlexFromThe209 lost to Linndale by 10 points at home, but then profited from facing BOTTTSBURGS with a 103-point victory, accruing a ridiculous 216 offensive efficiency points and -27 defensive efficiency points. What should be (but won't) an intriguing matchup against my cold-cocked crew happens Saturday before traveling to face San Dominica.

5. Miami Cleo (4)
The second best record in the league lands 5th after a nice victory over Hustlas and a somewhat expected victory against Żubr Białystok. Next up comes a bot matchup and then The Philadelphia Spartans are houseguests which should help them maintain their 2nd best record.

6. The Beer Bellys (6)
Clinging to 6th thanks to a victory over the Spartans followed by a nice tough win against Hustlas at home, the Keg is feeling pretty great with what could be a nice matchup with Żubr Białystok before bot-hosting next week.

7. Hustlas (5)
Dropping back-to-back tough matchups against Miami Cleo and the Bellys leaves their grip on 3rd in the Great 8 slipping - another difficult matchup against The Ashkickers looms before they get to play Motor City on the road for what should be a win. But will they be in 4th place by next week's rankings?

8. Linndale (7)
Two solid victories for Speedtraps' squad over 209's on the road before getting to host BKDogs. Next up, an interesting matchup against Carolina before then greeting Philly Dribble at home.