Ah, but he's not playing the Paper Pushers though, is he? Of course, if he was playing the Paper Pushers, crunch, crunch away! (I think it's in either the manual, or the help section: "When playing the Paper Pushers in the cup, Attitude must be set to 'Crunch Time'".)
You're going to have to wait at least one more season for that to happen...
Although I did offer him a mutual crunch! Let's see if he accepts.
This really gave me a good chuckle. I don't think he will find it quite as funny though.